Something You Couldn't Stop

Sometimes when it's very dark, sometimes when the air becomes infected with deadly silence, sometimes when all I can feel is coldness and pain and sometimes when life seems to solidify into uncaring concrete, I hear your voice. Just yours, whispering into my ear.
    And you only ever say two words.
    "Carry on."
    This murmur in my ear allows some light to filter in through the darkness, it shatters the silence, melts the ice, soothes away bitter pain and brings softness back into my world. Only these words are never true, they sound in my head but never in my ears. Because you aren't here anymore to speak to me. I lost you a long time ago.
    Once I was crossing the road and a car came towards me. I stopped and stared at the machine, I stopped and allowed the tinny scent of pollution to fill my nostrils. It wasn't that I wanted to die, it was just I lacked the motivation to live. However in the next moment you appeared, leaning casually against the railings on the opposite side of the road. Meeting my scared eyes, you smiled and said those two words.
  "Carry on."
   A desire overwhelmed me, in that moment I knew that I must cross to meet you. I had been provided with motivation, but, once I reached you and your bright grey eyes, I lost you yet again.
   Acceptance is an odd thing. For I know that I'll never touch you, speak to you, nor hear your true voice, but still I long for all those things.
  "Carry on."
  And carry on I shall. Through days of summer and nights of snow. Through moments of joy and fragments of woe. I'll carry on because you were never given the chance to. I'll carry on because my life hasn't yet been snatched ruthlessly away from me. I'll carry on for you.
   For you I'll carry on forever.