You

You've been on my mind a lot recently. So yeah, I really wouldn't mind if you would just piss off it.
Did you hear that? Go away. Go away now.
Go away please.
I've been rehearsing this conversation with you, in my head, over and over. I know exactly what you're going to say, how you're going to react.  Hear that? You, my friend, are predictable. The one thing you hate the most. Predictability.
Only you're not speaking to me at all now, are you? Maybe if you would just listen to me then it would all be okay. Perhaps I'd stop thinking about you.
And then we could both move on to different lives.
Okay, I miss your brown eyes. I miss the way we'd exchange looks across the classroom. I miss your stupid swishy hair, which you'd never cut. Which you will never cut now because you no longer have me to nag you. I miss your soft, mellow voice.
And I long for the way you could always calm me back down, no matter how angry I was.
Well, I'm fricking angry now, but you're not doing anything about it, are you?
We should have never argued. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I thought you were flirting with that girl who turned out to be your cousin. I'm sorry I called you all those names. Dickhead. Tosser.
Looking back on it, I wish you'd never driven away from me. From us. I wish you hadn't driven away into the night. But it's your own fault really. Not mine.
Everyone knows you shouldn't drink and drive.
Yet you did. You may be an intelligent person, but you can still be incredibly stupid. To this day I can't believe that you crashed. I can't believe that I was the last person to speak to you. Inside it kills me to know that at the time of your.... of your passing you hated me.
Perhaps if you'd lived just a day longer then we could've made up. If only I hadn't shouted at you that night then maybe we could've climbed into that car and died together.
A year has passed now. The funeral is but a memory and the local newspapers documenting the event have since been recycled. All the sympathy messages on your Facebook page have long merged away to become lost in cyberspace.
But to me you are still alive. To me you've never died. Every minute of every day you're on my mind.
Because I just can't let you go.