The Point When Things Happen

At the moment my life feels like concrete. My face is grey and formless. I cannot smile but I daren't cry either. Then I remember one of our first conversations together:
Girl: 'I can't do Surds. And I've got my maths exam this week.'
Boy: 'Well, talk to me, I'll show you how. I can do surds. I'll teach you.'
Girl: 'Okay.'
Boy: 'Uh, well, I told a lie. I'm rubbish at maths.'
Girl: 'Then why did you even bother to offer?!'
Boy: 'I don't know, but it got me talking to you, right?'

Sometimes I hear music being played on the radio. The familiar lyrics jar and haunt my hearing as I scrape the dust from happy memories. Memories of you, dancing in your union jack boxers and singing in front of a mirror.
At times like that I do not know whether to laugh or cry. So I sing and dance, pretending to be you, because when I do that I feel as though nothing ever happened.

But most of the time I feel numb. Against my will I've been engulfed in a foreign world. A barren world, where nothing ever happens and no one ever speaks. I feel so guilty for the quarrels that we once had. I feel physically sick because for weeks I didn't even acknowledge your existence.

I'm sorry that more people didn't get the chance to meet you. You were such a brave little fighter. Fighting through the words, the pain and the hate.
My biggest regret though, is how I never stopped you. You told me everything, but I never even thought to stop you.

Then you tripped.
And when you tripped we were both lost forever.